


I'd Rather That You'd Been Hit

by IreneClaire



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e23 Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau (Until the End is Near), Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-12 21:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IreneClaire/pseuds/IreneClaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A missing scene suggestion based on 'Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau'; S1 x 23. First ever FanFic I tried last year and that I am reposting here from the fanfiction website. This story focuses on angsty Steve, his first question to Danny upon seeing him collapse, and his thoughts thereafter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any characters. No copyright infringement intended.

**Chapter 1**

**H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O* H5O***

Steve quite distinctly paled the moment he heard the first cough and realized Danny wasn't with the rest of the team as they reconvened in the driveway. Once he turned and saw Danny slide down the foundation of the house, his heart hammered and all he could get out was one desperate word.

"Danny."

How had he not realized that Danny wasn't with them all until he heard that first cough? And then by the time he had first shouted Danny's name and rushed to his side, Danny was already slumped, breathing heavily and holding his chest. He was trying quite unsuccessfully to unfasten his vest and loosen his tie with his free hand.

"Danny! Danny! Are you hit?" He asked lamely, while simultaneously taking in Danny's alarmingly white and clammy face.

He hastily helped Danny take his tack vest off and grew increasingly worried as Danny wheezed out, "No, something's not right. I can't breathe. "

After checking the pulse on the body that he found in the house, Danny had started to feel odd almost instantly. He hadn't thought much of it until he truly couldn't catch his breath upon leaving the house to find the rest of the team. And as he turned the corner on the sidewalk, the coughing had started with his chest becoming increasingly constricted. Very shortly after and as he reached the breezeway, he was surprised to find that he could barely stand. His legs were wobbly and weak, and his vision was graying. He could feel sweat beading on his forehead and was almost amazed when the wall didn't hold him up as he tried to brace himself against it with one hand. He felt himself collapsing in an undignified heap.

Danny and Steve shared a brief shocked look at each other. Usually one of them knew what to do in any situation, but this time was different and they both knew it immediately. Danny would have laughed if he could have at Steve's classic aneurysm face which was at an all new high bordering on fear. In fact, Danny was sure he saw fear in Steve's eyes. And that was oh so NOT good. His increasingly tight chest and inability to breathe was throwing him into a near uncontrollable feeling of panic.

Steve was jolted to his very core even more when Danny continued to breathe with increasing difficulty. He couldn't take a deep breath; only quick shallow gasps that were beginning to sound harsh. His fingers picked loosely at his shirt buttons as he tried to find a way – any way - to breathe better.

"My chest. I don't know. I can't breathe."

In the background, each could hear the rest of the team reacting to the frightening situation. Chin providing soothing words, Kay briefly checking Danny's pulse and Kono quickly calling for an ambulance. Steve could count on them all, but he still didn't know what to do. There were no orders to give, no obvious wounds to treat. He was bewildered, lost and almost incapable of deciding what to do next.

Steve's next words sounded reasonable, but his face continued to speak volumes and he felt almost stupid asking the question. "Just tell me what happened."

As he listened to Danny gasp out a brief explanation, mentally Steve was running through every possible symptom and scenario from a bad meal to a heart attack and then to "god knows what" in milliseconds. It was the "god knows what" that scared him the most. Jenna was the first to react when Danny wheezed out that a body was in the house, so he quickly ordered Chin to stay with Danny and followed on her heels. He was brought up short by her firm direction to not go any further into the room. The stench was horrific and her next words chilled him.

"Stop. Stop right there." Jenna demanded. Her hand was thrown up against Steve to halt his forward motion.

"What is it?" Steve asked. He was nearly breathless as he distractedly took in the dead body of the Hawaiian man, spilled milk and overturned milk carton the tile floor. His thoughts were of Danny outside with Chin.

"I don't know. But whatever he died from might be biological. We have to get Danny to a hospital right away."

" _Oh my god_." Thought Steve. " _Why couldn't you have been hit Danny? I know how to deal with that. I can fix THAT. Please_ ".

Moments later, both Jenna and Steve heard a frantic Kono calling for Steve. As they rushed back outside, Steve could see Danny convulsing against the wall. " _Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god_ ," Steve thought continuously as he ran over to Chin in shock. " _This couldn't really be happening_." Jenna's words about a biological weapon were coming to fruition right in front of them all.

Steve's private thoughts continued to surprise himself as he inanely chanted over and over "Danny. Stay with me. Danny." He thought, " _Yes_.  _I'd rather you'd been hit_."

But it was true. He did rather that Danny had been shot. THAT he could handle. THAT he could deal with and treat. It was familiar and almost normal in a sick sort of way. But this? This was an unseen enemy that was simply wrong on all levels. It didn't fit or make sense. And Steve was indeed lost. He had no solution; no answer; no control.

As the paramedics arrived and Danny was assessed and loaded into the ambulance. Steve was there and ever so vigilant. But he continued to think his dreadful thought the entire time, knowing it was irrational: " _Yes, Danny_.  _I'd rather you'd been hit_."

_**~ to be continued ~** _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recap: As the paramedics arrived and Danny was assessed and loaded into the ambulance. Steve was there and ever so vigilant. But he continued to think his dreadful thought the entire time, knowing it was irrational: "Yes, Danny. I'd rather you'd been hit."

**Part Two:**

Jenna was directly responsible for allowing Steve to be so vigilant over Danny with the paramedics. Her background and experience let her quickly take charge of this particular crime scene with ease. Her characteristic almost naive-like demeanor was replaced with that of a forceful decision-maker. If Steve had noticed, he would have been glad for the short-term change in leadership. As the head of Five-O, his professional next steps would have been to take charge of the crime scene and assemble the appropriate personnel for a critical hazardous material and secure cleanup.

But he had one sole priority in mind – and that soul of utmost importance was that of his best friend, Danny Williams. As Steve paced uncontrollably near the breezeway never taking his eyes off his friend, it was Jenna who quickly advised the medics about the potential biological exposure. She then immediately contacted the hazmat and the proper health officials to quarantine the site. The hospital was notified about the potential status of the incoming patient so that an isolation room would be readied.

Kono and Chin were also more than happy to let Jenna take charge. Both knew without a doubt, that Steve would be focused on Danny and were equally shocked to have witnessed Danny's rapid decline. While Chin had done his best to keep Danny calm, Kono hadn't been able to entirely cope with the situation beyond making the initial call to the paramedics. Like Chin and Steve, she was rendered nearly useless with worry and by the alien nature of the situation. With the two core members of their team thereby incapacitated, though unlikely on the surface, Jenna proved herself to be an informed and talented alternative.

And yes, it was true that Steve had barely registered any of this. He was superficially cognizant of Jenna's voice and aware of the increasing activity of new arrivals on scene. He would eventually appreciate her assertiveness - but later. Right now he only had eyes for Danny. The convulsions and terrible rasped breathing had continued as the medics prepped Danny for transit.

"Come ON Danny, please." Steve whispered, as the medics vainly attempted to stabilize crashing vitals. Chin heard the plea as he watched Steve's frenetic pacing with a rising feeling of dread. When Steve and Jenna returned quickly from the house, Jenna had brought him and Kono up to speed on her biohazard theory. Personally witnessing Danny's rapid decline, Chin knew she was likely correct; something was terribly wrong. Kono had excused herself momentarily and then had returned adopting a nearly, but not quite, stoic expression. He didn't have the courage to ask about Steve and Jenna's own possible and accidental exposure. Chin was content to gloss over that thought by assuming they'd have been ill by now based on what he'd seen happen to Danny in mere minutes.

However, now with Jenna's warnings about possible bio-hazards, the medics were very limited on options. After brief discussion and without knowing for certain what was causing Danny's severe and life-threatening reaction, the medics agreed that they couldn't safely administer more than oxygen or basic fluids. There was constant communication back to the hospital.

As Danny was transferred to a gurney for transit, Steve grabbed a side and slid into the ambulance with the medics. Nearby, Jenna was having her credentials verified so that she could suit up herself to assist in testing the house for contaminants.

"Sir, we really can't have …" one of the medics started stay until he looked up and squarely into Steve's face across Danny's prone body. The stony, 'no holds barred' and 'take no prisoners' expression of a Naval Lieutenant-Commander stopped him in his tracks and was all it took for the medic to stutter-stop his standard diatribe.

"This is not up for discussion." Steve blandly stated. He then ignored the medic entirely to continue his committed watch of Danny. He looked at his watch for the hundredth time and reported succinctly, "It's been about 12 minutes since I believe he was first exposed to whatever is causing this reaction. He was complaining about tightness in his chest and an inability to breathe. Approximately 3 minutes later, he lost consciousness and began to convulse. My team will be able to advise us on the situation as soon as initial findings are determined. " Steve's eyes were dark and precarious pools of sheer blackness. Had the medics known him more personally, they also would have registered the sweaty brow, slight tremble to Steve's hands and the white, thin-lipped tightness to his mouth. Resorting to factual dialogue was also another clue to the man's stress level.

Steve was only just barely able to keep it together. Inside his head, the new litany of " _please stop – please stop_ " was ricocheting around like a series of rapid fire bullets. As a SEAL in action, he of course had seen many a friend and partner in dire straights. He was also familiar and well-versed with chemical warfare tactics and nerve agents. There was no way to wrap his head around what was happening.

Quite frankly, THIS should not be happening HERE. This was Hawaii, the Garden of Eden, paradise found. And yet, Danny lay in front of him, convulsing on a gurney and not a single person thus far could do a blessed thing. There was nothing to go on and Steve was simply scared. He scrubbed his face viciously with both hands and thought in desperation. " _Stop. Please just stop this._ "

"Oxygen? Is that the best you can do for him?" he angrily flared up, as one of the medics adjusted the mask on Danny's face and increased the flow.

"We're less than five minutes out from the hospital, sir. We can't risk administering the wrong combination of meds without more information on the source of his symptoms."

As the medic tried to offer explanation, Danny suddenly stopped convulsing. However, the loud harsh and short rapid breaths also ceased causing everyone to leap into action. Steve bolted forward from his seated position and landed on one knee to grab Danny's shoulder with his hand in the sudden silence. "No. Danny. No!" Steve was at a loss once again as he looked in askance at the two medics. Danny's face was lax, his head had lolled to one side, and his chest was barely rising.

"Bag him and ready for CPR! How far out are we? Vitals are continuing to drop. Blood pressure is crashing. Respiration is labored. Pupils are dilated and fixed."

As the medics hustled around Danny and continued reporting on what sounded like an inane jumble of useless codes and numbers, Steve lurched sideways when the ambulance came to an abrupt stop. "We're here. Get him out and moving. Isolation exam room one. Priority personnel only." In his haste to keep up, Steve stumbled out of the ambulance inadvertently falling into Dr. Lee, the trauma specialist on duty.

Realizing he had virtually barreled into the doctor and the one man he needed most, Steve mumbled, "sorry sorry sorry". He scrambled for a hold on the stretcher, but he missed it as the medical team was already on a brisk trot through the first set of emergency room doors and down the corridor.

Steadying Steve with a hand and giving a curt but not unkind nod, Dr. Lee moved quickly along with the rapidly traveling gurney and multi-tasked a visual assessment of Danny while demanding, "Give me a read-out while we're moving people. Where are we at?"

As the group burst through the second set of doors towards the isolation ward, Steve had caught up. The attending medics rattled off Danny's latest serious set of falling vital signs. " _Too low. It's too low_." Steve picked up a new mental rant as he heard the blood pressure readout of seventy-two over forty. Nearly half of what a normal pressure reading should be. " _Keep breathing Danno. Just keep breathing_."

"How long ago was his last exposure?" asked Dr. Lee. The group was still on a run as they rushed Danny down the last corridor and towards isolation.

"About twenty – thirty minutes". Steve replied quickly. He was wide-eyed and breathless as stress and frustration began to take on a new toll.

"Do we know what kind of toxin we're dealing with?"

"I don't know. My team's still working on it." The frustration evident in Steve's eyes turned into terror with the doctor's next words. He was brought up short for the second time that day in total disbelief.

"Well they better hurry. I don't know how much time he has." And Dr. Lee left Steve alone in the corridor as Danny was irrevocably removed from his sight. He spun in place not knowing which way to turn or where to go. " _My god, Danno. How did we get here?_ "

_**To be continued ….** _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Three – The Hospital Missing Scene/Tag
> 
> NOTES: I'm borrowing info about sarin from a Wikipedia entry. And then using some free license to expand on possible symptoms and medical jargon. I'm in no way sure that I'm correct about ANY of this. But even though this is for fun, I'm trying to have it make some logical sense. So I hope it's okay. Please remember all the jargon is totally contrived and based on very little medical fact – it's all fiction, folks! In other words "don't try this at home."
> 
>  
> 
> Recap: As the paramedics arrived and Danny was assessed and loaded into the ambulance. Steve was there and ever so vigilant. But he continued to think his dreadful thought the entire time, knowing it was irrational: "Yes, Danny. I'd rather you'd been hit."

Recap: As the paramedics arrived and Danny was assessed and loaded into the ambulance. Steve was there and ever so vigilant. But he continued to think his dreadful thought the entire time, knowing it was irrational: " _Yes, Danny_.  _I'd rather you'd been hit_."

**Part Three:**

Dr. Lee and his team worked in quiet unison and moved Danny from the small gurney to a more traditional treatment bed as they continued their triage. There were definite similarities between this tight-knit medical team and the Five-O's. As their patient continued to decline, Dr. Lee gave orders to intubate. There was no choice but to place Danny on a ventilator since it was obvious that his respiratory system was shutting down first and very rapidly at that. In addition, Danny was more comatose now than unconscious.

There were several nerve agents that Dr. Lee could keep on his short list. Treatments were similar, but not identical. He needed to speak to Commander McGarrett to get more information and excused himself from the room.

"Administer Biperiden to counter the signs of poisoning. I need to see Commander McGarrett myself. With luck, his team will have called with a more solid update for us." On his way out, Dr. Lee noticed that one of his nurses had collected Danny's wallet, a small holstered gun and police badge. They were together on the counter and so he gathered them, put them in his coat pocket, and went out to track down McGarrett.

As he anticipated, finding Steve wasn't difficult. The Commander hadn't moved an inch from the spot where Dr. Lee had originally left him standing in the corridor. Except that Steve was now crouched down, knees bent with his back against the wall as a brace. His elbows were resting on his knees and both hands covered his face. Adrenalin was wearing off and Dr. Lee knew he would need to manage his questioning with care.

By nature, Lee was a people-person. Where some doctors were cold and abrupt, he was perceptive and calming. He had a reputation for being very Zen-like amongst his peers and he often would voluntarily take on those patient cases most doctors would avoid.

Steve's appearance in the ambulance and current defeated posture in the hallway told him one thing: these two men were much more than co-workers. Plus Williams was a regulation blue detective from the mainland and the Commander was a seasoned Navy SEAL. The two typically would have had nothing in common and normally wouldn't have ever crossed professional paths. It was obvious that they were best of friends and more like brothers.

Kindly, Dr. Lee softly asked, "Excuse me, Commander …"

Though the words were quiet, Steve was startled and instantly thought the worst when he saw the doctor. With his heart in his throat Steve demanded to know "What's happening with Danny? Why are you here?"

"I need to speak with you. But first, I'm not going to lie. We're doing the best we can solely based on Mr. Williams' symptoms. I need to ask you a few questions about what happened today. Have you heard from your team yet?"

"No. They're in the house though and evaluating the crime scene. We think the milk carton will hold the main clues about the medium for the contaminant. But I don't see how any of this helps Danny." Steve's temper was again starting to flare. "Look, doc .."

Dr. Lee calmly and simply said "And see, now you just did help. Let's go over this step by step. From the scene, it was shared that Mr. Williams fell ill soon after physically touching the body. But this is the first that I'm hearing about a carton of milk. Do we know anything from your people about the placement of the body?"

"When I entered the kitchen, the body was prone - with the victim lying on his stomach. His head was turned away from me, so I never saw his face." Steve stopped talking as Lee looked at him in shock. "What? What did I say?"

Lee was honestly taken aback and almost offended. "I had no idea you were in the same room with the contaminant and that you could have been exposed. Why of all things, would you withhold that from anyone? You need to tell me now if you're ill or feeling any similar symptoms. Is there any tightness in your chest? Coughing? Shortness of breath?"

Steve sputtered and put both his hands up in surrender as Lee turned his doctor's gaze full on him. Assessing his skin, eyes and tugged his stethoscope out of his coat pocket with every intention of giving Steve an exam in the corridor.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa – Doc! I'm perfectly fine! Danny's the one we need to focus on here!"

"You obviously didn't touch the body yourself or you WOULD be in the same dire position as your partner. But how close DID you get and who else was there?" Lee was in a quiet fury as he rapid-fired questions at Steve.

"I ... I … I didn't think. It was Danny. JUST Danny we were all so worried about". Steve replied lamely. "Listen, I'm sorry. More than you know. But really I'm fine. And isn't that good? Does that fact tell you anything more about the contaminant?"

Lee was angry, but his head was mulling the newest details. "How CLOSE did you get?"

Unsettled, Steve thought more about the crime scene and how he'd entered the house. "I'd say no less than ten feet away. And Kaye was with me. We were pretty much standing at the same distance, together. And no, neither of us touched the body. And neither of us feels ill."

He continued to relay as much detail as he could recall. The body was prone, victim laying on his stomach and head turned away from Steve. He couldn't see the victim's face and the stench was strong but not putrid. The milk carton was overturned on the counter top. It seemed as if the man had died immediately after drinking directly from it. Presumably, dropping it on the counter as he fell to the floor, convulsing and dying.

He gauged Lee's level of aggravation and was relieved to finally see the slow, characteristic nod from the doctor. There was no way Steve could risk being locked in a separate quarantine room now, of all times. Danno needed him and he also needed to be accessible to his team.

"I'm not pleased about this Commander. This could have caused us all extreme troubles. But I'm going to agree with your Ms. Kaye for the moment. This toxin would have been ingested first orally. Your victim's body has become a toxic stew of sorts. Mr. Williams' secondary exposure was likely by skin absorption. And unless you STILL aren't telling me something – then no. No, you thankfully don't appear to be ill." Lee shook his head in disgust. "It's also a good thing I did decide to ask you a few more clarifying questions. But I never expected to hear this. And I will also admit your information minimizes or even negates our concerns about a toxic inhalant."

"Doc, I really am sorry. I wasn't thinking. And of course you're hundred percent correct." Steve ran his hands over his face and up into his hair, leaving it a tangled mess. " _Batting a thousand today McGarrett. Good job, well done._ "

He then hitched a breath and wryly thought to himself, " _Well Danno, I get to deal with the next corpse. How about this - I check–em and you book –em?"_

Lee was watching Steve closely. He could plainly see the internal struggle for composure and he made a decision. "Alright then, let me get back to Mr. Williams. I'd prefer that you stay here as well. I'm sure you've ordered your people to call you with first reports. I'd like you to come directly to the isolation room with that report as soon as know anything. Time will be of the essence."

Steve was nonplussed and at first didn't know what to say. Recovering from his momentary surprise of being asked to actually stay close when he was sure he would have been tossed out on his proverbial butt, he found his voice. "Of course. Yes. I'll do that. Thank you."

Before turning away, Dr. Lee remembered the other items in his coat pocket. "I think it best that you hold these for now as well." He gently handed Danny's wallet, badge and gun to Steve.

He then cautioned Steve. "I need you to know that we've had to place Mr. Williams on a ventilator to help him breathe. The toxin is most definitely a nerve agent and acting against his major organs. If we don't know something soon, I'll have zero treatment options. And if he has a family, I'd also suggest placing some initial phone calls."

Steve despondently looked at Danny's belongings in his hands. The crazed mantra of " _please stop – please stop_ " was starting up again. "You know, we grabbed a coffee together this morning on the way into the office. Before, all of this – this INSANITY happened." Steve gestured aimlessly in front of Dr. Lee's face.

"I understand. I do. None of this makes any sense, if it ever could." Replied Lee ruefully. "This added information will be helpful. Once your team has any news, we will have more pieces of this puzzle to put together. But let's not make any other mistakes or overlook an opportunity to learn something."

"Okay, okay. Good. I get it." Steve took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Lee was a good guy, Steve liked him, and couldn't afford – no didn't WANT to – offend him. "My team is due to call. As soon as I get any type of update, I'll bring it to you A-S-A-P."

"I need to get back in there. We've given him additional meds to manage systemic poisoning and I need to see how my team is faring with stabilizing his vitals."

Steve leaned back against the wall as Lee returned to isolation. He rhythmically thumped the back of his head against the wall a few times and looked at his watch. "Call me Jenna. Somebody call me," he said out loud to no one at all.

And less than two minutes after he uttered those words, Jenna did call him.

"McGarrett".

"Hey, it's Kaye. Listen to me. Danny's been exposed to sarin. You need to tell the doctors to get him started on Pralidoxime right away. If they don't … he's going to die."

Without answering, Steve cut the connection and then for a split second forgot which way the isolation room was before darting to the right down the corridor. He skidded to a stop outside the door as Lee's sixth sense caused him to simultaneously look up.

Steve opened the door and shouted, "It's sarin. My team says it's sarin!"

Lee had directed his team to ready a small array of antidotes on a tray based upon his mental short-list of possibles; exposure to sarin being among them.

"Pralidoxime people." Lee declared, before Steve could say more. "I want the on-duty neurologist on stand-by as well. I'll need him on this case immediately."

"Commander, give me a time check from perceived initial exposure to this moment."

Steve had frozen in the doorway, shocked at Danny's transformation from his animated and outgoing friend to that of a pale, lifeless body. He had been warned about the ventilator, but still wasn't entirely prepared to see Danny surrounded by so many machines. " _He looks dead. Oh my god, we're too late. No matter what we do, we're too late._ "

"Commander, time check please. NOW." Lee reiterated firmly. "I need a time check and then YOU out of this room until I can safely provide an accurate status on his response to the antidote."

For a moment, Steve blankly looked at Lee. "Time check. Right. Right." Looking at his watch yet again, Steve estimated that an hour and fifty-five minutes had elapsed for Dr. Lee and his team.

"We're on the same page. Good." Lee noted, and then, addressing his team, "I think that we may be within a decent window of time on this one. Let's take advantage of it folks."

Glancing up, Dr. Lee saw that Steve still hadn't moved from the threshold. He quietly asked one of his nurses to escort Steve back out to the waiting area. "Just show him to the main waiting room. Tell him that I will be out personally to speak to him in exactly one hour."

Steve looked down as an older dark-haired nurse took him by the elbow and guided him fully out the door. "Sir, can you please come with me right now?" He hesitated briefly as his eyes fell again on Danny. He was learning to trust Dr. Lee but the activity around his friend looked like organized chaos.

He managed to turn away and silently followed the nurse, who offered. "I can't tell you that your friend will be fine yet, but Dr. Lee will give update you personally in one hour. I'd suggest that you grab a coffee, some juice or bottled water - or something - from the cafeteria. It will do you some good."

Steve never answered her and certainly wouldn't be visiting the cafeteria. He was tapped out and just watched her walk back towards isolation. " _Well Danny, if you didn't like this little rock before, I bet you just love it even more now_."

The final hour of waiting was sheer torture for Steve. But Dr. Lee kept to his word and returned in exactly one hour to provide Steve with an update on Danny's recovery status.

"So?" Steve asked immediately, voice almost breaking. "How's Danny? Can I see him?"

As with many people and even though he'd have some familiarity with chemical agents from SEAL expertise, Dr. Lee had partially expected Steve to hope that the word "antidote" would be the miracle cure. 'Hope springs eternal' was one of his favorite sayings and regardless of the person, almost everyone held out for 'hope'. But truth be told, an antidote wasn't always the silver bullet and people didn't miraculously rise; whole and sound.

Dr. Lee chose his words gently sensing the renewed levels of anxiety, but wanting to be as honest as possible. "Let's just say that I'm cautiously optimistic. He is responding to the drugs. Meaning that initial tests are now more positive and he is most definitely stabilized."

Steve sighed in relief. "It's good then? He's better?"

"He is  **responding**  in a positive and predictable manner to the drugs. It's what we had hoped for - but do I believe that he will recover?" Dr. Lee paused and hesitated slightly before replying. Steve anxiously held his breath as he listened closely to each word the doctor said next. "Again, a cautionary 'yes'. The best news is that we were within the optimal window of time when the antidote was administered."

"Why do I know there's a "BUT" in this conversation?" demanded Steve. Arms flailing once again in frustration. "What is the full prognosis here for Danny?"

"My caution to you is that sarin is more than 500 times more toxic than cyanide. Orally, your victim had a massive dose and died virtually instantly. That body held a secondary level of toxicity which Mr. Williams was directly exposed to through skin absorption. Mr. Williams is almost through the woods, but not entirely. Once he's conscious, he'll need to be thoroughly examined by a neurologist. Remember, this is a nerve agent and his convulsions were quite severe."

Lee waited as he watched Steve grasp this latest news. His face was pained, he had closed his eyes and hands were tightly fisted on his hips. He was clearly exhausted and Lee was sympathetic. With his eyes still shut, he quietly replied. "I'm not sure I understand what that means for us. For Danny."

"It means that while he's responding well and that I DO believe he will pull through this, that we all still need a bit more time. He's trending up but it's early and he's been through a great deal of systemic physical stress. After that, our next step is to have the neurological results also prove to be a simple matter of course.

Steve had hung on every word. "Alright. That's fair. So when can I see him?" Steve continued to push for more, and his need to see Danny with his own eyes was overwhelming.

" _This guy is starting to look like a bobble-head."_  Steve thought to himself as Lee once again did his characteristic trademark. And then he was able to smile for the first time that day as Dr. Lee confirmed, "If the positive trending continues as we hope it will, he should recover consciousness in approximately two to three hours. As that trending continues, we will get him off the ventilator and then out of isolation and into a recovery room. He likely will be exhausted and he'll need to stay in the hospital a few days for monitoring. He won't be feeling very well since the muscular convulsions were so severe. But you can see him in a few hours; definitely later this afternoon or by early evening."

Steve felt himself relax ever so slightly. He could deal with this latest timeline. He now fully trusted Dr. Lee and found security in words and details he could easily understand.

His muscles were a bunched band of knots across his shoulders and into his neck. He'd need a good, long swim at some point. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his two fingers and exhaled deeply. " _Okay Danno, we got some good news here. Maybe, quite possibly, the best news all day. So you just keep your end of this bargain now._ "

And after all of the anxiety and stress of the day, the best he could come up with next was a simple, "Thanks, Doc." But the words spoke volumes, and Dr. Lee heard the sincerity in them.

As Dr. Lee turned away, the rest of the Five-O team rounded the corner. " _Fantastic, everyone's timing is improving_." Steve noted, as he turned towards his team.

Chin reached him first. "How's Danny?" And Steve actually welcomed the question as the rest of them gathered around. And as he answered, he was content that the outcome of this get-together would be much different compared to what had unraveled all of them earlier that day.

_**To be continued** _


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

Glancing at the retreating back of Dr. Lee and with an emotional voice that sounded weak and thin even to his own ears, Steve filled in his team on Danny's improving medical condition. He couldn't help the quaver as he practically choked out, "He's okay. He's responding to the drugs. I mean it's early but – uh ….. but they all seem to think he's going to pull through."

" _God, did I really just say that? Danno's going to pull through._ "

With the update, there was a collective sigh of relief across the team. Steve gave himself a mental shake. " _Get it together, my friend_." Though some tension had eased, he was still clearly on-edge from the day's never-ending roller coaster ride of emotions. Every time adrenalin started to wane, something brought it back full force.

As they discussed their ailing friend, Chin found a moment to remind Steve of Danny's daughter, Grace. "Danny said something about having Grace this weekend."

"Right, Rachel and Stan are in Maui'. Steve confirmed. Another of his internal alarms slowly started to chime. " _What do I do with Gracie?_ "

Even though Dr. Lee had advised Steve to call Danny's family, he hadn't. Not making any calls to next of kin and family had been unprofessional of Steve. He hadn't even thought about Rachel. Maybe he could blame it on national security; that actually wouldn't be far-fetched. But in honesty, he hadn't been able to truly go "there" earlier in the day. "There" was an unacceptable place. However, not doing that set the current wheels into motion: what to do with Grace.

" _And I wasn't entirely wrong, thank god. But what_ _do I do_ _with Gracie?_ "

Running mental options quickly, he discounted the two more seemingly obvious choices. Calling Rachel, the child's mother, was appropriate. But then what? She couldn't do anything constructive herself being so far away. He'd have to send a uniform in a squad car to the school. Grace could either be brought to the hospital or could be watched at the precinct.

Regardless of what he'd come up with, he could clearly hear Danny in his head warning him, " _Don't you DARE scare my daughter, you Neanderthal_."

So as Steve continued to explain why none of them could yet see Danny, he was trying to figure out when kids got out of school these days. He'd have the Camaro, which was familiar. "Uncle" Steve showing up at school seemed to him, to be the best option.

It was nearing two-thirty or so, and he was almost sure that Grace got out by three. That seemed right – it was roughly the time Danny would leave the office on a Friday afternoon when he had Gracie for the weekend.

Academy of the Sacred Hearts was only fifteen minutes from the hospital. Steve knew he could pick up Gracie easily by the first bell, bring her back to the hospital, and then decide things out from there. " _God, how_ _ **do**_ _I explain this to Grace? What do I tell her about her father?_ "

Continuing to rally his team, Steve acknowledged everyone's desire to stay at the hospital in order to be with Danny. But Five-O needed to remain focused with Steve fully back in the game. Though he knew that he'd not leave the hospital until he saw Danny with his own two eyes, he also realized that he had to retake the reins from Jenna. Each of them  **had**  to center and work together to determine the level of risk to the community at large. Finding the source of the sarin as well as the crazy person or persons responsible remained a critical part of their mission. " _Yes, we have a job to do._ " He thought to himself.

As Kono and Chin very reluctantly left the hospital to check local dairy distribution companies, Steve turned to address Kaye. Having her as liaison to the CDC seemed more than appropriate based upon what she had been able to handle thus far. She quickly agreed and offered additional contacts at Langley for chemical analysis of the sarin.

With his entire team now working in earnest, Steve was sure they'd eventually be able to identify the supplier of the sarin and the guilty party or parties involved. In his professional opinion, Gitmo seemed like a fitting future housing option for the perpetrators once this was put to bed.

Before leaving the hospital, Steve took advantage of the private moment to again thank Kaye for saving Danny's life. But his simple and warmly put, "Hey. Thanks, Jenna", inadvertently took her off guard and he was dumb-founded as she prattled on about crisis modes, personal vendettas, and being happy to pitch in. She appeared unable to stop speaking and in his tired state, Steve was amused by her nervous ramblings.

But she was missing the point and he needed to tell her how much she had given back to all of them that day. Danny hadn't deserved this. He didn't deserve to  **die**. " _NO - that's ALMOST die. Danny's going to be okay._ "

Danny was a good cop and a fantastic father. And most of all, Steve's friend – his best friend. In just about one year's time, they had become closer than the bonds Steve had forged with certain members of his SEAL team. His life had been undeniably returned to all of them due in great part to Jenna Kaye. Saying a mere 'thank you' to both Kaye and to Dr. Lee wouldn't seem like enough to Steve for a very, VERY long time.

However, it wasn't an easy task. Talking over her incessant ramble, first softly and then with an ever-increasing volume, Steve considered physically shaking her into silence.

On the fifth and exasperated "Kaye!" Jenna finally ceased.

"Yeah", she said. Having been so mildly chastised into silence, Kaye stilled to listen to Steve.

"What I meant to say was thank you \- for helping Danny, okay. You saved his life."

Not used to compliments and especially ones of such magnitude, she replied with a shy smile and a simple, but pleased. "You're welcome."

"Call me if you get something", Steve said with a quick grin. As he turned to leave, Jenna seemed confused. With the team dispersing to follow up on various next steps, she had to ask, "Where are  **you**  going?" Like the rest of them, she had expected Steve to remain camped out here, in the hospital.

"Uh, I got a little something to take care of." And Steve was off to The Academy of the Sacred Hearts. " _I promise not to exceed the legally posted speed limit, Danno. I promise to use seat belts. And I certainly never,_ _ **ever**_ _will scare your Gracie. Oh and yes, there are absolutely_ _no grenades_ _in the glove compartment. Though I haven't looked in the trunk lately ….._ "

Before he got to the Camaro, he had already 411'd the main office at The Academy. He explained who he was, and that he would be picking up Grace Williams due to an urgent work related incident with her father. He had barely started the engine in the Camaro when he was asked to hold in order to speak to the school principal, Mrs. Keone.

There was no delay and Mrs. Keone spoke in a pleasant but very concerned voice. "Hello, Commander McGarrett. This is Mrs. Keone. I understand that there's been an incident with Grace's father. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything will be. Thank you. Rachel, I mean Mrs. Edwards, is in Maui and we're attempting to contact her. But for the sake of expediency, I'd like to pick up Grace myself." Steve described the reason behind his call as he started to drive in the direction of the school.

Steve's little white lie about Rachel flowed off his tongue easily. " _Yeah, I promise to call at some point. But first things, first_."

"Our day ends in about ten minutes. Would you like us to get her now and have her wait for you in my office?"

"No, no, no. I don't want to scare her and everything's really going to be just fine." Steve couldn't say that enough. " _Thank you for keeping your end of this terrible bargain, Danno_ ". "What I'd like to do is pick Grace up as her father normally would, and then take her to the hospital, myself. I can explain things to her in a neutral environment."

" _See Danny, I can keep a bargain too. I swear I won't_ _do_ _or_ _say_ _a single word to scare your Grace._ "

The principal's next words more than surprised Steve; in fact, they caught him completely unaware and unprepared.

"Of course, that's fine. She's a very perceptive young lady and even though you are on her authorized list, she will know that something has happened." Mrs. Keone words were said in a normal conversational tone.

But it took Steve a moment to stammer out one question. "I'm sorry. Authorized list?"

"Well yes, that's what we call the list – here in the office – of the parent, custodian or adult guardian that is permitted to meet a child here on school grounds. Mr. Williams has you included in Grace's files as an alternate family contact."

Even after all the severe emotional stresses of the day, where Steve had managed to barely keep it together – but he had. Instances where it would have been understandable to see a Navy SEAL shed a tear – but he didn't. This one piece of conversational news shared so very nonchalantly - unraveled Steve to the core.

With a breaking and barely audible voice, all he could say was "Thanks. I'm on my way."

" _Wow, Danno. Just plain -_ _wow_ _._ "

_**To be continud …** _


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5**

Steve's eyes were glassy with tears after hanging up with Mrs. Keone. He blinked furiously to clear his vision as he drove; then took his sunglasses off to wipe his face with one hand. He'd have to pull it together before seeing Grace.

" _Wow, Danno. I don't know what to say about this. What a way for me to find out - but neither of us could have guessed this craziness."_

It should have been more like a, "Steve can you pick up Gracie for me, my car broke down" kind of thing. But not a "Hey Steve, I touched a toxic body today. Get Gracie for me while I nearly die in the hospital, would ya?"

Steve knew that this was more than a simple name with a telephone number on a simple piece of paper. For all the bantering and mock arguments, Danny did trust him with his most prized possession. It only made Steve's resolve stronger to ensure that Gracie didn't become frightened with Danny hospitalized and her mother on Maui for the weekend.

His cell phone rang as soon as he pulled up in front of Grace's school. Without looking at the caller ID, he answered the phone as he got out of the Camaro. He was greeted by Sang Min's whiney and strongly accented voice. Angrily and with disbelief, he listened as Sang Min attempted to offer McGarrett a deal; one that would have them working together in order to bring in Wo Fat. The talk lasted less than a minute with Steve using the 'end call' button as his "no deal" answer.

He pocketed the cell phone and turned quickly to catch Gracie's eye as she came out of the school and stopped on the steps clearly looking for her father. Steve called to her and she shouted "Uncle Steve!" as she continued down the steps in his direction.

He fell to one knee to give her a hug and then readied himself to answer the inevitable questions from Grace.

"Where's Daddy?" she asked. Her eyes were widely innocent and she wasn't sure exactly why Uncle Steve would be at school today. She knew that her mother and Stan were away for the weekend. And she had been very excited that she'd get to spend the entire time with Danno.

He looked away briefly and then back to Grace. He wasn't sure what he'd say, but he knew he should be careful and at the same time, not lie.

"Listen Gracie. Danno's - ah – Danno's not feeling the best. Okay. So I'm going to take you to the hospital. We're going to go see him."

Grace knew that her father was a police officer and he had a dangerous job. She knew it from what her mother had said and it was the main reason her mother had divorced her father. She was a little scared and very serious when she asked Steve, "Is he going to be okay?"

" _Careful now, Steve._ " He warned himself, as he saw Grace getting nervous. His best answer was truthful and came out naturally.

"Is he going to be okay." Steve repeated Gracie's question as a flat statement and in a way that said " _I can't believe you just asked me tha_ t!" He continued as he surprised himself too by saying, "Let me tell you something about your father. He may not talk like it, but he's one tough guy. He's brave as well."

Steve hesitated for a moment. He had Grace's complete and undivided attention and she was hanging on to every word. He asked her, "Can you be brave like Danno?"

His question drew an emphatic affirmative nod from Grace. Smiling, he asked her again, "You sure?" And he got the same response - a nod that said ' _yes, definitely_!'

Continuing to lighten the mood, he teasingly said, "Then we should go see him; what are you waiting for? Let's go!"

Less than 45 minutes had elapsed by the time Steve returned to the hospital with Grace in tow. When she had seen Uncle Steve at school instead of her father, she had been confused and just a bit afraid. But she had listened to every word her Uncle Steve had said about her father, and he had told her how proud he was that she could be so very brave like Danno. " _In this Danny, your daughter is very much like you. She's a very brave young lady._ " Steve thought.

" _But she's definitely her own little person in a lot of other ways._ " Now he was holding her right hand gently as he gazed down at her with a smile.

His heart did a little flip as she swung their joined hands and innocently smiled back up at him. Grace genuinely liked her Uncle Steve and she trusted him very much. From that first time at the football game, Grace had been at ease with Steve. It may have been because her father did speak of Steve often. Or she simply felt comfortable with him. But she had been the one to eventually begin calling him " **Uncle**  Steve". And she was often asking Danny, "how's Uncle Steve today?" or "what did you and Uncle Steve do today at work?"

Steve swung his hand in a gentle rhythm with hers. " _I think I may be just a bit jealous of you, Danno_."

As they entered the waiting room, Dr. Lee came briskly around the corner.

"Oh, there you are Commander!" He admonished Steve. "I was just looking for you. I have some good news, but…. Oh!" Then he trailed off and paused once he saw the little girl firmly attached to Steve's left hand. Looking to Steve and then back to Grace, he recovered with a ready smile and bent down to address her directly. "Ah, I see now where everyone has gone off to. I bet you're Grace, aren't you?"

Grace slowly nodded yes and looked from Dr. Lee and back to Steve. "Are you my daddy's doctor?" she asked. "Uncle Steve said that you were helping him and that he was feeling better."

"Yes, you're right. I  **am**  your father's doctor and I'm very glad that Uncle Steve has brought you to see him. But you do know that you still have to wait a little bit, right? I'm still making sure he feels better. But you will be able to see him very soon. I hope that's okay – what do you think?" Dr. Lee was very kind and Grace liked him immediately.

She gave him a big smile and nodded again. "Uh huh! Uncle Steve told me that we could stay here and wait to see Daddy!"

As this little exchange continued, Steve was standing stock still taking in various pieces of the conversation. Such as Dr. Lee's first words about "good news" and then how the doctor actually knew Grace's name. He was sure that he hadn't mentioned the child's name so this meant only one thing. " _You're awake aren't you, buddy._ " The only thing unsettling him just a tiny bit was the word "but".

"He's awake, isn't he?" Steve said quietly to Lee, his relief palpable. "And he's asking for Grace." " _Incredible D – we'll have to talk about this OCD of yours. You must have been picking Grace up from school in your dreams. What else could explain this?_ "

Straightening up, but still addressing both of them Dr. Lee nodded a confirming "yes". He was now smiling broadly and directed his next words to Steve.

"We're all very, very pleased. While his blood pressure is still on the low side, he has surprised us all by regaining consciousness. My team was able to remove the ventilator. He's breathing fairly comfortably on his own, though he'll be on oxygen for a while until I'm happy with his blood-oxygen level and vitals. Mr. Williams is a strong-minded young man. We hadn't expected him to regain consciousness for at least another hour, and actually maybe closer to two. He's exhausted, but lucid."

Steve looked down at Grace and laughed outright with complete and total relief. He let go of her hand, and then reached down to swing her up into his arms. "Your father is something else sweetie!" She giggled as he gave her a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. " _Thank god, Danno. Thank god, we really have you back_!"

Dr. Lee loved days like this – days where the dedicated work of his team paid off and he could provide good news that would keep a family whole. He was very thankful for Williams' quick improvements.

Before Steve could ask the inevitable question, Lee knew he'd need to explain what would be happening next. Now that he understood the short-lived "mystery of Grace", he needed to set expectations.

Addressing the child again directly in Steve's arms, he asked, "Grace, do you think it's okay for you to stay with one of my favorite nurses while I talk to Uncle Steve?"

Though he was confused by the question, Steve stayed quiet as Grace considered the doctor's suggestion. She wanted to see her daddy or stay with Steve, not sit with someone she didn't know. He knew that Lee was including Grace in order to keep her involved and at a high comfort level. His respect for the doctor was growing in leaps and bounds.

And when she looked at Steve for support, he nodded and said to her, "It's alright Grace. If it's Dr. Lee's favorite nurse, I bet she's really nice. And I'm sure I won't be too long."

So Grace agreed and Dr. Lee excused himself from the room with a "Good, I will be right back with Nurse Cathy."

As Steve put Grace down he whispered, "It's really okay Gracie. I think Dr. Lee wants to tell me some more good things about Danno before we get to see him." She nodded solemnly and took a hold of his hand again.

Within minutes Lee had retuned with Cathy Everett, a pediatric nurse. Cathy was a middle-aged, vibrant woman with short, jet-black hair. She genuinely loved children and had an innate ability to bond quickly. Cathy had a never-ending supply of what she called "professional toys" in her arsenal.

And of course, Cathy immediately noticed Grace's school uniform. Her easy welcome and bubbly disposition, lessened Grace's worry and she smiled along with the adults.

"Hi Grace! Dr. Lee said that we could spend some time together. But I didn't know that you went to The Academy of the Sacred Hearts! My daughter, Michelle, goes there too and she loves to draw. Would you like to have a snack with me in the cafeteria? I'd love to hear about what you like to do, too."

So Grace willingly took Cathy's hand, waved a short good-bye to Uncle Steve and followed Cathy to the cafeteria.

Once she was out of ear shot, Steve turned to Lee and bluntly asked. "Okay, what's really going on? Most of it sounds fantastic, but you've got me worried here. Is it the neurology report?"

"No, no. We won't line up the neurological assessment for another day or two. Though the attending has begun to review his medical reports, he won't go through those tests until he's fully stabilized." Dr. Lee explained.

"I'd like you to see him now, but alone. But Mr. Williams is agitated and restless; while he's more lucid than not, he's admittedly a bit confused about what happened to him today. His anxiety is affecting his blood pressure and heart rate. Frankly, he's giving us quite a hard time and I need to get him to relax. With the stresses his body has been through, I would like to calm him without using sedatives."

Steve was both concerned and thrilled. "You don't have to ask me twice, Doc! Once he knows that Grace is in good hands, I'm sure he'll relax. His ex-wife is away and he was supposed to spend the entire weekend with his daughter."

Dr. Lee nodded agreeably. "Very good. I'd like to give it a try. But Commander, it's imperative that he relax and talk as little as possible. His agitation is causing him to cough excessively – and he needs the inflammation in his lungs to ease. Mr. Williams also has severe muscle soreness from the systemic convulsions. He's going to do more harm to himself and I'd rather not see a set-back at this stage."

"Dr. Lee, I know why he's so upset and I guarantee to you that I'll be able to calm him down." Steve was virtually on his toes in anticipation of helping.

"If for any reason he is unable to calm down, we will need to consider a sedative. And again, that's something that I think should be avoided. My team and I appreciate anything that you can do."

Steve briskly followed Dr. Lee to Danny's isolation room. When they entered, they saw two nurses with Danny. The first nurse was holding both his hands down on his chest as he tried to twist away from them unsuccessfully. His eyes were closed and he was very pale. The second nurse was attempting to re-adjust his oxygen mask. Steve thought he heard a frustrated moan and a slight cough.

While holding him down, the first nurse was trying to reason with him. "Mr. Williams, we really need for you to keep the oxygen mask on. And please don't try to get up again. I'm sure Grace is fine and she wouldn't want you to be upset." The nurse was clearly frustrated and Danny's weakened state was the only thing allowing her to easily hold his hands. At another time, she would have found herself tossed across the room with ease.

Both nurses looked up with distinct relief as Dr. Lee returned to the trauma area. He certainly didn't like what he was seeing. With annoyance, Lee demanded,"What's going on here?"

The first nurse spoke from Danny's bedside. "Dr. Lee, this isn't going well. His pulse is too rapid and we can't keep him calm. He's removed his oxygen mask and was trying to get up from the bed. We don't want to restrain him, but we're running out of options."

Lee made a decision. He didn't like Danny's heightened agitated state and turned towards Steve. "Commander, this probably isn't going to work. I'm sorry but ….."

Taking everything in with lightening speed, Steve moved past Dr. Lee quickly to Danny's bedside and resolutely inserted himself in the nurse's place. He replaced her hands with his own and she gratefully moved away to give him more room. Steve sat gingerly on the bed next to his best friend.

"Danny, Danny. Hey, hey, hey. You really need to calm down now." His voice was barely above a loud whisper but it was enough. Danny momentarily stilled. Bleary and heartbroken blue eyes opened and softly through the oxygen mask, Danny whispered, "Steve?"

A boyish smile lit up Steve's face. " _There you are_!"

"You bet, D.! But you need to listen to me, okay? If you don't listen to me, Dr. Lee won't let me stay with you right now. Do you understand? And I don't want you to say a single word. Just listen to me." Steve was still smiling broadly, but taking in Danny's too pale features, sweaty brow and very cold hands. He could feel Danny's body vibrating with anxiety through his right hip where he sat next to him on the bed. " _Easy, Danno, easy. You can do this. We can do this together._ "

The second nurse slowly and finally was able to re-adjust the oxygen mask on Danny's face. She took the same opportunity to slightly raise the flow and sighed in relief. "Thank you; now let's try and keep this in place."

Dr. Lee nodded at and motioned for both nurses to vacate the room. He smiled at Steve as he gently closed the door, but before leaving said, "Commander, I'll be back sooner rather than later if there are any issues."

Steve looked at Lee and shook his head in denial. "There won't be Doc. There won't be."

Alone now, Steve gave Danny his undivided attention. He was breathing rapidly, but most of the harshness was gone. His eyes had closed again, however Steve knew he was fighting sleep and well-needed rest. " _Buddy, you are exhausted and one stubborn pup._ " Steve thought to himself.

He rubbed Danny's cold hands gently in both of his warm, strong ones and shook his head sadly. " _It's probably the low blood pressure, but you feel so cold_." After a moment, he felt Danny weakly squeeze his hands.

"Okay, Danny. Just breathe and let me do the talking. Everything's fine. You look just fantastic, buddy." Steve said the last part in jest, but felt Danny stiffen as he tried to pull his hands out of Steve's grasp. "Grace …" Steve could feel a chesty cough rising in his friend. " _Oh no, you_ _ **won't**_ _do that_."

"Hey, what did I tell you? No talking, damn it. Danny. Listen to me." Steve's voice was still barely above a loud whisper, but it was authoritative. He was firm and determined to make Danny pay attention.

"I picked her up from school for you, Danny. Gracie. She's here with me. She's fine – and she wants to see you. But buddy, that's up to you right now."

Steve could tell that Danny was trying to make sense of it all. He tried again, sticking to facts to be as clear as possible. "I went to Grace's school at three o'clock today. I spoke with Mrs. Keone. I picked up Gracie for you. She's here, with me, and safe. Okay?"

Very slowly Steve could feel Danny absorb the information, understand it, and relax ever so slightly. Danny's exhausted eyes gradually opened again and seemed to fill with tears as the news sunk home. Steve held his weak gaze and tried to convey everything he could in order to calm any of Danny's fears about Grace and allow the ill man some peace.

" _I'm here. Grace is here. It's all good – I promise. We aren't leaving you._ "

Steve knew that he was getting places, but also that is friend was quickly tiring. Dr. Lee hadn't given him a time limit, but he knew that exhaustion could easily bring the agitation back in earnest. He needed to make sure Danny understood and truly remained calm once he left the isolation room.

"Hey, now the other thing is that the next step is up to you. I know you don't feel so good and everything hurts. It's from muscle spasms. Dr. Lee says that's part of you're healing process. You're going to be fine but you need to seriously relax and let Dr. Lee do his thing. So, the oxygen mask stays on, buddy. And by no means do you try to talk or to get out of this bed until Dr. Lee says it's alright. That's an order, Danno!" Steve continued to hold Danny's two hands firmly as he waited for understanding and agreement.

Danny's eyes searched Steve's face and an eyebrow slightly rose up as if to say " _Really, Steven. An order? Now. When I feel like crap? And by the way, I'm not one of your Army grunts that you can push around._ "

However, he slowly nodded his head in quiet acceptance. Though he was still much too pale, Danny's face had lost some of the agitated hardness, the stress lines had smoothed out, and his hands were finally quiet in Steve's grip. He was definitely battling to keep his eyes open from fatigue.

Moving both of Danny's hands to just his left one, Steve leaned forward and adjusted the oxygen mask with his right hand. He then put his right palm on Danny's chest. He could feel it rising gently up and down in a more natural rhythm. It anchored them both.

"I want you to know that I've been here the entire time, except to get your daughter from school, myself. We came back together, D, and we're staying until you get to see Grace."

Steve quietly waited for a reaction from Danny to make sure the news had hit home. He was satisfied by a slight squeeze of Danny's two hands.

"Good. Good. Now Dr. Lee says they are going to move you to a recovery room as soon as you relax and your blood pressure stabilizes. You aren't far off from that happening tonight. And the sooner that happens my friend, the sooner Gracie gets to see you."

At that, Danny visibly relaxed and Steve allowed him to weakly remove one hand from his grasp. That one hand found Steve's wrist of the hand that was still resting on his chest and he clasped it.

"Ah, ah, ah! Remember, no talking!" Steve scolded, as he saw Danny try to form words beneath the oxygen mask. "You can thank me later. But I need to go and let you sleep now. Grace and I are going to be waiting for you." With those words, Danny seemed to slightly smile under the mask as his eyes slid shut. He was exhausted and he hurt. With Steve's gentle prompting, he relaxed completely and fell asleep.

Steve sat on the bed for many more minutes ensuring that Danny was definitely calm and deeply asleep. Once he was certain, Steve slowly stood up and laid Danny's hands comfortably on the bed. " _Yes, I know it's your low blood pressure, but you still feel so very cold_." And so he fixed the blankets up to his partner's chin to keep him warmer.

As he used the call button in the room to bring Dr. Lee, he put his right hand one more time on Danny's steadily rising and falling chest and closed his eyes. It was peaceful and Steve again wanted to convey with all his own heart what their eyes had shared earlier.

" _I'm here. Grace is here. It's all good – I promise. We aren't leaving you._ "

_**To be continued ….** _


	6. Chapter 6

**Part 6**

Dr. Lee returned to the isolation room within minutes of Steve pressing the call button. Truth be told, the good doctor hadn't strayed very far in case things hadn't improved to his liking. He came in quietly and took in the fact that his patient was now completely calm and utterly relaxed as per doctor's orders. In fact, Mr. Williams was sleeping peacefully.

"Well now." He rocked back on his heels with a pleased look as he nodded his thanks to Steve. "What we had hoped for – perhaps even more." Dr. Lee pulled his stethoscope out and began to silently recheck Danny's vital signs; who to his credit, didn't even stir as his blood pressure was taken yet again for the umpteenth time.

Steve stood by the foot of the bed without speaking and watched Danny sleep. While appearing to be nonchalant, his stomach was in knots as he waited for the results. He knew that they would be good this time, but he couldn't help the obsessive thoughts of the devil on his shoulder that kept second guessing what would happen next. He frowned and shook his head in denial. " _What if … what if they aren't good. What_ _ **IF**_ _…_ "

But closer to the surface, reason strummed louder and faith was stronger that he had succeeded in managing to calm his partner and still his fears. " _I can't do much lately, but I_ _could_ _do this for you, Danny_."

He was more than emotionally exhausted and he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. " _God, I think even my hair hurts right now_." His very soul ached.

With thoughts wandering in a worn-out mind, he knew that he needed to get back to Grace as promised. And after that, he needed to see what his team had been able to find out during their investigations. " _No rest for the weary, McGarrett. Just keep going. It's not over yet_."

Nodding in the affirmative, Dr. Lee seemed satisfied with what he was finding and continued to speak – almost to himself - as he kept his back to Steve. But that nod was all Steve needed to see and he unclenched tight fists. So even before the doctor verbalized it, he allowed himself to relax.

"Much better. Much. His pulse and respiration have both evened out nicely. We'll monitor his vitals and we need to make sure his blood pressure comes up a bit more and fully stabilizes."

"How long then until he gets moved to recovery?" Steve asked bluntly. The doctor deserved more, but Steve was utterly exhausted and not mincing words. " _Yes, I always seem to want more_." He thought to himself. " _But I won't be completely satisfied until Grace is with Danny_."

As he re-tucked the blankets up around Danny's shoulders, Dr. Lee considered the question, he honestly wasn't yet sure and needed at least another full hour of monitoring his patient prior to giving the okay. He needed to see consistency in the test results.

Looking up from Danny's bedside, his fair reply included all of those points. "Honestly Commander, I'm not sure yet. It's approximately four o'clock now. I would think that by six, I could have a better handle on his overall condition. But rest assured, you've helped tremendously."

Kindly, Dr. Lee fished out two small pills from his medical jacket and walked over to where Steve was standing at the foot of the bed. The pills were basic over the counter ibuprofen and he put then into Steve's hand.

"You have a headache. When you go out to see Grace, I insist that you take time to grab something to eat and drink and also, take these. Doctor's orders, Commander – no arguments."

Agreeing, Steve gratefully accepted the medicine. He wasn't sure he was hungry, but knew he needed to take care of his body. He would do as the doctor said and visit the cafeteria. "Thanks, Doc. Is it that obvious?"

In answer, Dr. Lee patted Steve on the shoulder as he escorted him out of the room. "Yes. Yes it is. By the way, someone will be here with Mr. Williams at all times. I'll be out again with an update for you. Now go find that little one and rescue her from Nurse Cathy's incessant cheerfulness!"

As he allowed himself to be ushered out of the room, he vaguely wondered if the dedicated and perceptive Dr. Lee ever went home.

He decided to wander down directly to the cafeteria remembering what the nurse had said about getting a snack. He easily spotted them near a window eating chocolate pudding. Grace was smiling happily at something Nurse Cathy was saying and he thought he saw a box of crayons on the table.

Before approaching, he made a bee-line through the checkout line and grabbed himself two bottled waters and the first available boxed sandwich without thought. " _What does it matter. It'll be tasteless anyway_." He ruefully thought as he paid at the register.

Nurse Cathy saw Steve first and pointed in his direction causing Grace to turn around and call out excitedly, "Uncle Steve!"

"Hey kiddo, what are you two up to?" Steve asked pleasantly, as he sat down with them. He saw that not only were there crayons, but also a blank white writing pad. Grace had started to color something in blue towards the top of one page.

He opened the first bottled water and washed down the two pills immediately and before digging into his sandwich. He was hungrier than he had first thought and was halfway through the first half of the sandwich when he noticed that there was complete silence at the table. When he looked up, Grace was staring at him expectantly with the blue crayon poised in her hand.

"Umm." He mumbled and had to hold up one finger to ask that she wait for him to chew and swallow. " _Of course, Grace wants to know about Danno first..._ "

With her winning smile, Nurse Cathy came to his rescue by offering a quick recap of her visit with Grace. She gently patted Grace on the hand.

"Grace and I have had a lovely time hanging out together. Right Grace?" Grace beamed back and proudly showed Steve her new drawing book and crayons.

"I told Nurse Cathy that I liked to draw too and look what she got for me! I'm going to draw a picture for Daddy so he feels better."

Steve could only smile and nod as he listened attentively and tried to rapidly chew and swallow without choking. But he was fully captivated by Gracie's happy and excited face.

"That's a fantastic idea, Gracie." He put the rest of his sandwich down and gave her his undivided attention. In a conspiratorial whisper Steve leaned over to get close to her ear.

"Danno's doing really good and feeling MUCH better. Dr. Lee says that we still have to wait just a little bit more. It will give you time to finish this special picture if you'd like to." And he plopped a kiss on the top of her head.

Gracie smiled at Steve and then at Nurse Cathy. "So Daddy's okay for sure?" she asked in wide-eyed innocence. "Did you get to see him?"

"I sure did. But all HE wanted was to see YOU." And Steve gave Grace a little tickle on her ribs as he said the word 'you'. She giggled and pulled her knees up on the cafeteria chair to an effort to get away from him.

Laughing, he added. "He was very happy to know that you were here in the hospital having a snack. And he can't wait to see you. And I just bet he's going to love a get-well picture from you." Gracie was beaming with his compliments by this time.

"But Danno is still in that special room I told you about and Dr. Lee wants him to take a nap before he gets moved to a regular room. And that's why we have to wait." Steve explained as much as he could without too much detail for an 8-year old. " _Boy, this hard Dann_ o _. How do you do this with a child?_ "

During the brief exchange, Cathy regarded Steve with a professional's eye. She could tell that he wasn't entirely comfortable with children. But he had innate sense of what to share and what to withhold. Grace's comfort level was strong and there was no shyness or reservation around her "Uncle Steve".

Recognizing that Steve had everything well in hand, she knew that she could get back to her regular duties. Slowly standing, she pushed her chair in and went around to where Grace was sitting and spoke directly to Grace.

"Oh Grace, I'm so happy for you and your father. Can I get a hug before I go back to work?" And she opened her arms to Grace who left her chair immediately to wrap her arms around Cathy's waist. "Can you come visit me some time just to say hi?"

Grace readily agreed and promised. "Uh huh, I can visit." And then remembering her manners, she added bashfully, "Thank you for my new book and crayons too."

Getting up from the table, Steve held out his hand to genuinely thank Cathy himself. "I can't thank you enough for helping this afternoon. Grace is really taken with you and I can see that you have a real gift with children."

"You are so welcome. She is a joy this little one. And I can see, in excellent hands." She gently cupped Grace's cheek and gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head.

And then Cathy added quietly and just for Steve's ears. "You may think she's taken with me. But Commander, she adores not only her father but you as well. If she wasn't explaining something to me about "my Danno", it was "my Uncle Steve" this or that. Have some faith. You are naturally very good with her."

And cheerful, effervescent Nurse Cathy was on her way to her next beloved patient in need, leaving Steve dumb-founded, but also buoyed and in higher spirits in her wake.

By the time Steve had finished one bottle of water and his sandwich, Grace's current work of art was well in progress. Steve cracked the second bottle of water as he leaned over and saw that Grace's picture was a sunny and colorful beach scene with a large blue ocean.

He could easily make out Grace's own rendition of herself in a bathing suit – standing next to a cartoon Danno in full regalia – shoes, tie and all. In the sand. On the beach. With a tie.

" _Oh how Grace knows her father!_ " And it was all Steve could do to not burst out laughing. How he managed it, he certainly didn't know. But Steve leaned over and gave Grace another kiss on the head and said "Gracie, that is one beautiful picture!"

As Steve and Grace were wrapping up their time in the cafeteria, the rest of the Five-O team was well down the path of identifying the body and confirming that the incident was in fact isolated to the house. Jenna and Kono were discussing and following leads in an attempt to determine if the body was that of the actual target or a random unfortunate victim.

And Danny was awakening from his "nap". He had woken a little more less than two hours after Steve's sympathetic intervention. Being more coherent, he was able to absorb Dr. Lee's explanation about his condition. Danny knew full well what had occurred, as well as what recovery would be like in the near future. Plus the eventual need for a neurological assessment.

Though every muscle in his body ached from the severe convulsions and he was body and soul exhausted, Danny knew he was a very lucky man.

And recalling Steve's visit to his bedside, he nearly cried with relief when Dr. Lee told him that he would be moved to recovery within minutes. Everything Steve had said was undeniably true. He would see Grace.

Jenna called Steve directly at the hospital in order to give him a read-out on the current theories. By the time she called, Steve and Grace had long left the cafeteria and were sitting in a main corridor awaiting word from Dr. Lee. Unbeknownst to Steve, Danny had been recently and comfortably housed in his private room. Lee was looking for Steve in the hospital.

When his cell phone rang, Steve made sure that Grace remained seated as she finished her special get well card. But he got up and walked a few steps away to speak more privately.

As Jenna explained the latest theory about a fired caretaker with a possible motive against the homeowners; Steve counter-argued about means. Why and where would a local caretaker acquire sarin? It was too far out of the box – too far away from any norm or expected device.

But as they were discussing possibilities, Steve noticed Dr. Lee approaching. Immediately anxious to get off the phone with Kaye, he cut her short and signaled to the doctor that he'd be off in mere seconds.

"Okay, I gotta go. Just keep me posted." He abruptly cut the connection and his thoughts had only one thing to focus upon - _Danny_. He could tell from Lee's demeanor and larger than average smile that things had greatly improved. He was elated when Lee confirmed it.

"Hey, Doc. How's he doing?" Steve asked in earnest. " _Come on Doc, please say it!_ "

And Lee didn't disappoint. "He's ready for some visitors." Lee was equally relieved that his patient had improved to such a degree and frankly, so quickly. While he had professionally feared the earlier situation, Steve's ability to calm his partner had a definitive positive outcome.

With a pleased smile, Steve took Grace by the hand. "Alright. Gracie lets go see Danno."

As they entered the private room, Steve noticed that even though the bed was raised, Danny had his eyes closed and appeared to be sleeping. Steve wasn't surprised as Dr. Lee had mentioned that Danny would sleep often and that it was key to his recovery. He whispered to Grace.

"It looks like he's sleeping." However, Grace was only briefly disappointed as Danny opened his eyes and turned his head in her direction.

Steve briefly saw exhausted eyes and a strained expression before Danny schooled his features.

"Dannnooo …" she said softly as she went to her father for a hug. His characteristic reply of "Monkey" perfectly mimic'd her tone and the two gently embraced.

Steve smiled as he put Grace's school backpack on the closest chair and watched the two reunite.

Again, ever vigilant, Steve couldn't help further analyzing his partner. He noted that the oxygen mask was removed and actually, Danny wasn't on any oxygen at all. His overall color was dramatically improved.

But he knew enough about machines and monitors to see that Danny's blood pressure was still on the low side at one-fifteen over sixty. Internally, he frowned at that but he trusted Dr. Lee enough to know the doctor wouldn't risk anything.

" _One stubborn pup._ " Steve thought to himself wryly. For Danny looked exhausted. His voice was low and raspy. He was doing his best to rally for Grace and her presence was definitely good medicine. But the man was clearly still ill.

Steve stood at the foot of the bed and continued his assessment as Grace proudly shared her work of art. And of course, Danny declared it a masterpiece and Grace an absolute natural artist. He couldn't wait to display it at home and right in the middle of the refrigerator.

Waiting for a lull, Steve finally found an opening to ask the serious question. "How you feeling?"

Danny's reply appeared to be truthful but was in the same rough voice. Steve noticed the quick glance at Grace before answering Steve. She seemed a little upset at seeing her Danno in a hospital bed and Danny rubbed her arm sweetly.

" _So, this is a half truth then D_?" Steve thought to himself. Danny was obviously picking the right words so Grace wouldn't become alarmed on her father's behalf. Steve knew that whatever he said next could then be multiplied by ten.

With a groan, Danny explained very carefully. "Uh I don't know. I feel like everything hurts. My head feels like it's going to explode. It's the worst hangover I ever had."

"What's a hangover?" Innocently, Grace needed to know what the word 'hangover' meant. Seemingly used to fielding the odd question from his child, Danny replied easily.

"It's a - - - you'll learn about it one day." And he looked at Steve for mock support as he continued and deflected his answer to make Gracie laugh. "You'll figure it out. You'll learn about it one day. When you're about thirty-five …. "

Picking up on the deflection, Steve jokingly chimed in with "thirty-six - sixteen".

Of which Danny then corrected that intentional slip of "sixteen" back up to "forty years old!" Grace looked at her father in total disbelief since she couldn't yet imagine sixteen, yet alone forty.

From bed, Danny simply said 'thank you' to Steve after both had made Grace laugh. That one 'thank you' was for the moment, as well as for everything Steve had done for both Danny and Grace through the ordeal.

And Steve knew the depth of those two simple words. He didn't need anything more than that from Danny – didn't _want_ more. While he certainly hadn't enjoyed the reasons why, he wouldn't have had it any other way. He would do it all again. He would - quite literally do anything for Danny – anything. There never would be a different option. In fact, no thanks could or would ever be necessary from his best friend.

In the back of his head, Steve was mulling over Kaye's update on the victim and on what was known thus far. Even though he didn't want to leave, he had to get re-engaged with the rest of his team. It was like a never-ending 'groundhog day' and he had to get back to work now that Danny was truly on the beautiful road to recovery.

He needed to get to the office for a few hours and show his face. Knowing that Grace could easily remain in the hospital room with her father, even if Danny should fall asleep, Steve had to move the conversation into that realm. He'd be back for Gracie later and she could crash at his place until her mother returned. It was something else he could do for Danny and it felt good.

Both Danny and Grace readily agreed with the plan when Steve broached it.

However, before leaving Steve just couldn't help asking Danny one more time how he was doing. It had been more than "bad" to watch his best-friend collapse. Steve was admittedly traumatized just watching the scene unfold.

" _And how badly are_ _you_ _traumatized, yourself, Danny? How much are you covering up for Grace's sake and even for mine?"_ Steve was worried, plain and simple. He would insist on talking later. Later after Danny's full physical health was declared by every doctor in the building.

He could imagine the internal panic and pure confusion Danny must have felt with the swiftness of the chemical agent moving through his system. Steve could hold his breath and had been in extreme underwater conditions both as part of training and in actual maneuvers. The duress of being unable to breathe was in plain truth, horrifying. He'd seen the best trained military men unravel in a crisis they had supposedly been "trained" for. Survival was human nature.

But on top of it all, Danny had been unaware of the nature of his sickness. He hadn't known what was happening at the time. Only that he felt fine one minute and then was desperately ill another. Being subjected to the "unknown" always magnified feelings of panic and duress.

Taking a breath, he focused again on Danny and was once again very serious. He wasn't sure what type of answer he would get from his friend with Grace still present. But he had to ask just for himself - for his own personal level of reassurance. " _Danny, are you okay. Will you be okay after this?_ "

They shared a brief look and Danny knew that Steve had to go. He knew the question that was also coming next, for he knew that Steve needed some more reassurance. Steve had just a touch of the classic aneurysm face. Actually, it was closer to that of a seriously worried friend; one that had been scared to the center of his very being.

So Danny's reply to Steve's final question of _"You okay?_ "  did serve to soothe – and it soothed Grace as well, for it was the truth and backed up the sincere 'thank you' uttered just a few minutes earlier.

Beating down the exhaustion again, for Danny would soon be sleeping as Gracie went back to her artwork and coloring book, he said to both.

"I've got everything I need right here …I'm good."

 

_**~ to be continued ~** _


	7. EPILOGUE

**EPILOGUE**

While he was supposedly grilling a steak for a late afternoon lunch, Steve was really watching Danny and couldn't help himself. It was probably even weird, but Steve didn't care. Let it be weird, slightly off and even inappropriate. He simply did  **not**  care in any way, shape or form.

With his eyes peacefully closed and his bare feet up, Danny was facing the direction of the beach in one of Steve's best lawn chairs. Danny Williams was actually basking in the sun out on the lanai and shoe-less at that. If Steve hadn't been so full of remorse, he would have smiled. But he had things on his mind and he didn't know how yet, to bring them up to Danny. He should be content with miracles.

That real miracle to Steve was that exactly eight days had elapsed since the sarin scare; that Danny had only been released from the hospital just the day before; and - _god help me_  - that Danno was simply in the land of the living.

Doctor's orders were to remain on light desk duty for at least another full week – absolutely no exertion of any kind. Making sure that Dr. Lee's orders were duly inflicted upon Danny was Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett. And to that very end, Steve had insisted that Danny spend the entire weekend resting and being catered to at "Casa McGarrett".

Danny felt it even with his eyes closed and the noise of the gulls literally screaming over the equally and obnoxiously loud sound of crashing waves.

"You're doing it again, Steven". Danny snorted. "Find it within yourself to focus on the steak please. If it's not perfectly medium rare, it's going back to the kitchen. It's crime enough that the waves need to be this loud on this god-forsaken island."

Rather than answering, Steve flipped the steak and walked over to sit quietly in the neighboring chair. Danny cracked an eye. "Now what? You have a face and if you revoke my beer rations there are going to be real problems here."

"I do not have a face, Danny. And I'm definitely not taking your beer."

"I respectfully disagree about the former. But I'm thoroughly pleased that we agree on the latter. With all this attention, I'm starting to wonder if you and Dr. Lee know something that I don't or if you two buddied up in order to drive me stark, raving mad just for fun."

By now, Steve was looking out across the ocean. His emotions were still raw at nearly losing his best friend. And even though it wasn't directly his fault, he felt guilty about what had happened to Danny. He was having trouble with the usual banter.

At a loss for words, he dramatically slapped both of his knees as he got up from the lawn chair and stalked back to the grill. Danny watched the antics with raised eyebrows and then took a swig of his beer. Shaking his head in confusion, he swung around in the chair with plans of getting up to join Steve at the grill. " _What is going on with this guy, today_?" Danny wondered to himself.

Finally, voicing it, Danny called out to Steve as he swung up and out of the chair and was now looking at McGarrett, who had his back to him. "Hey, I'm not letting this go. So you might as well tell me what's eating you."

But as Steve turned around to reply, his hip banged into a side table that toppled over along with three empty beer bottles that broke into many shards of glass. Steve sighed, ran his hands over his face and then bent down to pick up the largest pieces. " _Graceful, McGarrett. Perfectly and utterly graceful._ "

Being barefoot, Danny had stopped dead in his tracks and then was quickly on his way to retrieving his shoes from under the chair he'd been sitting in. He bent down quickly, snagged them with one hand and forced his bare feet into each shoe.

"Nah, Danny. I got it." Steve said quietly as he noticed Danny's intent to help. And he waved him off.

"I'm sure you do. But before you cut your hand off or worse, bleed on the steak, let me at least go in the kitchen and get a broom and pail. Something to put the glass in…. just wait would you?" And Danny was instantly off at a brisk walk, on his way into the kitchen. He gave a wide berth to the glass and glared full at Steve. "Do  **NOT**  cut yourself!" He demanded, pointing his finger emphatically and virtually directly into Steve's face.

Steve laughed. "Fine - fine! I'm waiting!" He stood up still holding the largest pieces of glass which he then neatly tossed into the garbage as Danny offered him the container. Bending down with a dust pan and small broom, Danny began to laboriously sweep up the shards.

"Hey, give me that and go sit down! I'll finish this up …" But stopped when the first raspy cough sounded in his ears. It was soft at first, as if Danny was only trying to clear his throat. But then the spasm began in earnest. "Danny, Danny … what?"

As Danny unceremoniously dropped the implements he'd been using, Steve grabbed him by the shoulders and practically hoisted him to the lawn chair. Danny's face was beet red and his eyes were beginning to shed tears madly. The coughing continued with a ferocity Steve had heard before and greatly feared.

Waving his hands, Danny tried to say " _I just moved way too fast and swallowed funny_." But nothing came out and he couldn't quite catch his breath. Dr. Lee had warned him about moving too quickly and of any type of over-exertion. " _But getting up from a CHAIR or bending down – really, Doc, this isn't fair_!"" Danny wildly thought to himself as he tried to breathe and ride the spasm to its end.

And he needed to do all of that because Steve was practically apoplectic with worry. "Oh my God, Danny. What can I do?" After getting Danny to the lawn chair, Steve was on his knees in front of him. His hands were on both of Danny's shoulders supporting him as he leaned forward in a seated position and hacked miserably. " _God. I'm sure I just coughed up not one, but both of my lungs._ "

Danny valiantly struggled to control the spasms and they finally started to ease. Dr. Lee had recommended slow and short breathes through his nose and it was working. He flapped his hands aimlessly at Steve and nodded through his tears. " _It's okay. I'm okay_."

But Steve was having none of it. His mantra of " _Please stop. Please stop_ ", had once again reared its ugly head. " _I can't do this again. Not again_."

As the spasm abated and the coughs became more controllable, Danny panted through his mouth and tried to speak. "S-okay. Stopping …" He rubbed his eyes with both hands and shakily tried to stand up. Sitting hunched over in the chair constricted his diaphragm and his back hurt terribly; he needed to stand.

But Steve was horrified at the attempt. "Oh no, you don't." And he forcibly pushed Danny back down into the lawn chair. "You sit right there and don't move a muscle." Steve was nearly vibrating with shock and adrenaline. "My God, Danny, what just happened? Forget that question – don't answer me. Just sit there, breathe, and don't say a word!"

Danny glared at Steve as he tried to stand up again but was stranded in the chair. "My back … help .. up …  **hurts**  you moron …" he gasped out in a staccato whisper. "Steve … **up**."

With the chair so low and reclined, he couldn't get to his feet. So he resorted to an attempt at climbing himself up Steve's right forearm, using it for leverage. "God, I'm so sorry." Steve stuttered as he finally understood and managed to gently help Danny stand. He cautiously asked, "Danny – any better?"

One finger came up and was slammed into Steve's face and it blatantly was Danny-speak for: " _HUSH! Give me a minute_!" Holding Danny's arms tightly, Steve could feel the still- present weakness in his partner. Danny in turn, was holding Steve's right forearm with both his hands, head bowed near Steve's chest and breathing hard – but breathing. There was a slight rattle every so often on an exhale. At one point, Danny let go of Steve's arm with one hand and fisted Steve's t-shirt to gain some balance.

Steve looked at the sky and closed his eyes in sheer desperation at not being able to do a blessed thing. "Please not again. Please." He whispered much too softly for Danny to hear. He felt his own tears brewing in his eyes as he held is partner.

After a short time, Danny looked up and ferociously blinked to clear his vision. He realized that he still had a firm hold of Steve's t-shirt and released it. He smoothed and patted the wrinkles out. He then took a shaky breath and tried to laugh off what was a jarring experience for both men. "Wow. That was bad. Sorry … moved too fast or something."

Steve felt physically ill and couldn't find the words to even speak. He started twice to say something, but stopped each time. Danny took a deeper breath with more confidence and was eventually able to stand unassisted. Noticing the re-emergence of that recent fear, the classic "aneurysm" face on Steve, the tables slowly turned.

"Hey, buddy. Maybe you should sit down too." Danny said gently. Steve was truly on the verge of panic and seemed on the brink of real tears. His Adam's apple bobbed and he didn't know where to look, so finally settled for looking at his hands.

"Danny, I …" He started, continuing to look at his hands and then finally to Danny. He attempted to find the words. "This shouldn't have happened. None of it." He muttered.

Danny felt generally better, but now that the spasm had ended, the new ache of exhaustion was creeping in. " _God, coughing like that takes everything out of you_ ", he ruefully thought as he decided to sit down again. He felt Steve watching every movement like a hawk – ready to call 911 should Danny even stub a toe. He had about a thousand, snarky and obnoxious comments but he was tired and he could easily see that Steve – if he wasn't up to it before – certainly wasn't up to it now. So Danny let it all go and got serious for Steve's sake.

"Alright Steven, talk to me. What's eating you up? It's obviously more than what's happened over the last few days. Just say it and we'll work it out."

There was no immediate response, so Danny just waited. He waited for Steve to compose himself, waited for the adrenalin to wane, and waited for the words to come.

Once he was able, Steve's first words were soft and his voice cracked. "Danno, I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't help you – god help me, I tried. I did. But … but .." And that was it. That's all he could get out before sinking into the chair next to Danny and covering his face with his hands.

Through his hands, Steve sniffled and continued talking with his voice muffled. "Just please don't say anything yet. I can't … I'm not sure I can …" He stopped then and looked up directly at Danny with remorse and guilt. "I couldn't HELP you Danno. There was nothing I could "fix" – I've never felt that helpless and useless. And you were helpless and in so much pain." Steve trailed off with a final and very weary, "Danny, I'm so sorry".

Danny slowly scooted to the end of the chair to get closer to Steve. " _Very slowly, let's not have a repeat performance_!"

"Steven, I have two things to say to you. Both are very important and I need you to really get it, my friend."

And now he was annoyed with himself for not noticing it before. Not seeing Steve's own exhaustion lined face and the volume of balled up tension across virtually his entire body. For not recognizing the lack of coordination, the emotional toll, and bi-polar like talkativeness followed by an extreme lack of conversation.

" _Of course, you fool. He's been on fumes for a week and now he's GRILLING a STEAK? Playing nurse-maid. How could I not notice?_ "

It was Danny's turn to take the reins in the partnership. Shaking his head and using the same threatening finger he had used over the broken glass, he emphatically reviewed his first point.

"Number one. You and I both know what happened had absolutely nothing to do with Wo Fat or Sang Min or our job that day. That body would have been in that house who knows 'how long' and then the contamination and risks could have been so much higher. It's not your fault, it's not my fault and it may have actually been for the best."

Steve snorted with derision. "For the BEST? Come on Danno, I do get what you're saying. What you're trying to say. But there's nothing good here. Nothing. You almost died and I couldn't help you." Frustration had turned to anger and Steve was approaching a fury that was all driven by recent emotional stress.

Ignoring that growing anger, Danny continued. "Yes. And if you'd calm down half a second, you would admit that I'm right." Steve put one hand up in the air in an act of half surrender and half defiance. Of course he knew Danny was right, but he was still clearly unhappy.

Still on the edge of the chair, a second finger joined the first and was jammed in Steve's direction.

"Secondly – and most important - is that I fully resent and disagree that you didn't help. What are you talking about?" Danny's voice had begun to elevate and he had to close his own eyes for a minute. But he soon regained momentum before Steve could interrupt his growing rant.

"Where am I now? Hmm?" he said gesturing dramatically with both hands to take in all of Steve's house, the lanai and the beach. "And let's not forget the shuttling back and forth to the office or the doctor – and Steve, what you did for Grace. I honestly can't thank you enough for – my god, for just about everything!"

Unable to stop the classic rant, Danny continued and found himself on the inevitable snark.

"Next time –if there is one - I promise to get shot so you have something constructive to do. Would that make you feel better?"

Totally exhausted and spent now, Danny plopped back in the chair with his eyes closed. He draped his left forearm across his forehead as if to block further thought.

Without opening his eyes, he sensed a large Steve-sized shape block the sun and shadow his body. The edge of the lawn chair dipped and it creaked, taking the weight of a second person.

Still without looking, Danny smiled and said. "Yup, Steven you're doing it again. And why do I know we're not going to eat that steak?"

But Danny finally did open his eyes when he felt a strong hand on his chest. The two friends stared at each other as that one hand remained firmly but gently planted. Steve looked just slightly more at peace; and Danny reached up to hold Steve's wrist in kind.

It was just one hand – but it connected them - Steve's right palm to find a chest rising gently up and down – one that was breathing.

" _We're both here. And it's all good."_

It was enough, and all Danno could softly reply was "I know, my friend. I know."

_**~Fin~** _


End file.
